There are many things about the Christmas season that are exceptionally wonderful. Happy people, decorating, singing christmas carols, and generally celebrating Christmas. However, tonight I find myself unable to sleep, because there is something haunting me in my mind.
There standing alone in my parents house, I see in my mind's eye, a sad Christmas tree. It stands tall just like it has for many years. It is decorated with all the same decorations that it has always been decorated with, but for some reason it is sad.
This will be the Christmas that I will celebrate with my beautiful wife, and I am very excited for that, but I can't help but feel an emptiness in my heart. I will miss my parents and brother, and the family traditions that aren't even traditions but just Christmas habits. So many Christmas memories pass through my head that it is really hard for me to find joy in this Christmas season.
They were so good! All the christmases that we had growing up, and as you get older the pile of presents gets smaller, but being with your family gets bigger. As you get older you realize that the toys and goodies aren't the real presents. The real present is getting to spend time with family and loved ones.
I do not mean to sound ungrateful for what I have this year, or disappointed that we won't be spending Christmas with my family, because I'm not. I'm very grateful for everything that God has done for us in 2015 and I'm extremely thankful that Lydia's family lives close to us, and we're able to celebrate Christmas with her family. I just wish.... that my parents and brother could experience Christmas with us.
I have never been one to be sensitive and feely but I really regret so many Christmases before. I can't recall them half as well as I would like to and I can't ever go back and experience them again.
However, every new year will bring with it, new memories and new happiness. That's really what's important.
I can't live in the past and I can't change the things that have happened. I hope that I am not being too depressing, and dramatic, and I hope that many this will reach someone where they are at, feeling a little blue this christmas. Maybe you have your own sad Christmas tree from a past Christmas, maybe yours is in a sadder state than mine. I miss Christmas like it used to be, and I miss most, the people who I've spent every Christmas with up until now.
Now since that if off of my chest, lets go out and make new Christmas memories! lets celebrate the family that we have, and the joy that Christmas brings with it!
:D
Duckie
