Last Week I wrote a blog addressing the issue the Church is having in retaining Millennials. I realize that my last blog was heavily focused on the Church and how it has misjudged and also ostracized Millennials. The issue is not a one sided issue however, and this week I want to address the Millennials. Millennials are not without fault here, because they do have a responsibility to the church that they attend. Again, similarly to what I said in the last blog, I am not trying to come across as harsh, rude, or arrogant. If I come across that way I apologize and take my words with a grain of salt.
The Millennials and Generation Z
The first question that we need to ask is who exactly are they? According to the general consensus millennials are those who were born between the 80s to the early 90s (1992) Generation Z is what follows that, so anyone born from '93 to 2010. It is a stereotype of these generations that they are more obnoxious than previous generations. We are often viewed as self-absorbed, Self-entitled, disrespectful, and extremely egotistical. Sadly, this does describe some of us quite well. But as any stereotype, it does not fit everyone in the group. There are many who are respectful hard-working and teachable, but overall, we as a generation are one of the most unteachable generations to walk this planet. The reason for this is, not our parents faults, it is not the cultures fault, it is a sin problem that is being more and more glorified by our culture today.
When the Gospel was still acceptable to be proclaimed at school, when the Bible and this country was still considered "Under God", sin in society was somewhat curtailed. However, when the Bible was taken out of schools, we saw a decline in our society. Sin became mainstream, and acceptable. The family unit began to dissolve, and as a consequence of that, parenting became less and less involved until parents often fear to offend their children, and would rather be friends when their children than parent them. This is NOT true of EVERY SINGLE family unit in America, but in a largely secularized world it is sadly more of the norm than we would like to admit. Since there is now a lack of parenting at large, the culture, and those celebrities and artists who support a more deviant or daredevil lifestyle have no one to check them or slow down their rampage. Thus, our culture has declined, and with it the family is slowly, but ever increasingly being destroyed.
Now, the way this affects us Millennials and Generation Z kids, is with a more chillax (90s word) style of parenting, comes a lack of respect and a lack of punishment for being disrespectful. Being unteachable is a trait that is praised now rather than a trait to be looked down upon. All parents wish their children were respectful, but many do not go to the trouble to see to that their children learn how to be respectful. This trend in the secularized United States, has even begun to spill over into conservative Christian circles. Not necessarily because parents aren't parenting but because so many parents find that no amount of correction or admonishment will drown out the destructive voices in music, movies, and popular culture. This has huge and devastating role in why Millennials don't settle down at one church very long, and why they tend to want to be entertained by church instead of taught... Because the culture has taught them, that you need to be entertained 24/7 and never listen to anyone older than yourself.
What do they know?
However, after that long tirade about the decline of Millennials and Gen Z-ers, I want to point out some good things, and good traits that they have. Many of them are still driven to succeed, even if they haven't the slightest idea how to be successful (since they don't want to be taught!) Many of them are passionate, even if it is misguided passion. Many desire to do the right thing, but are scared to death of what the people around would think of them if they actually tried to be different than the culture around them. Many of them are not stupid, many have enormous amounts of potential inside them, even if they don't believe that. When dealing with us, it is a guarantee that anyone older than us, will need patience, because we're just hard to deal with. (for the most part)
Every generation has seemed less impressive than the one before them, and that's not surprising. Every generation is further away from the Garden of Eden, and the culture will regress until Christ returns and cleanses creation through fire. However, that does not mean we should look down on the next generation, rather we should reach down to them and try to help them rise up to be better than we were. Even if they haven't reached that point yet. Never give up on someone, because rejection like that hurts and will cause damage.
All this to say.... Millennials have to learn... We have to learn...
Yes, I said it, WE Millennials and Gen Z-ers have to be willing to learn and be teachable. We are internet gurus according to older generations. Sometimes we assume because we can access the internet we have all the answers and older people don't have anything to offer... Well, I can tell you, we don't have all the answers and it would do us good to listen to those older than us.
Now, having said that... how does all this apply to the situation within the church? While the church has not been perfect in its reception of Millennials, Millennials haven't exactly done their part in working to resolve the conflict. I know that in my years of going through different churches and experiencing different "denominational differences" I had choices to make in regards to what I put up with and what I didn't because no place will be perfect because it is made up of sinners like me. There are four major reasons to consider switching churches, and equally big reasons that people leave churches that are not legitimate reasons to do so.
1. Doctrinal Beliefs differ. The first reason is your convictions and beliefs differ largely from the church that you are attending. If you are a Catholic, you won't agree with a Baptist on major doctrines so you won't go to the same church. That's very obvious, but still needs to be stated.
2. Doctrinal Beliefs differ. The second reason for leaving a church, you have a different stance within a denomination, maybe the church leans toward reformed theology and eschatology, while you lean dispensational. That would cause major conflict between you and that church. That would be a reason to leave, because it is a conscience issue and that changes how you interpret the Gospels as well as the Great Commission.
3. Doctrinal Beliefs differ. The third reason is because your secondary, and less important doctrines differ. Now in my eyes, I would not necessarily leave a church for this reason, because I know that on all the major doctrines we agree and can get along.
4. Major preferences differ. If you have grown up in a independent fundamental church that only uses hymns and spiritual songs, and say, you visit a church that has a full band, this would potentially make you uncomfortable enough that you do not join that church and so move on. That is also a perfectly understandable reason for leaving a church. (However, it would make zero sense why you would join a church you're not comfortable with in the first place.)
These are really the only reasons that you have for leaving a church that are legitimate. However, specifically with millennials, we leave churches for many other reasons that are not legitimate. This is because our culture has taught, and enforced in us the idea that we must be entertained by whatever we are doing. If a professor is not interesting... Why are you taking that class? If that church band isn't cool enough, then you need to leave that church. If the pastor isn't cool enough or teaching things that tickle your ears, you should leave the church, because you are bored.... WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT CHILD?? Yes, I am right in calling you a child because you have not grown enough to be an adult if that's how you view the church and God. If you believe God is here for you, and He is calling you to church to entertain you. You might as well spit in His face and tell Him you don't need His salvation because you're not entertained by it.
I will leave that point where it is, because I do not want to get carried away with a rebuke. I want to encourage you. Be different from your generation, be a thinker, move beyond what stimulates your feelings. Stimulate your mind! Learn to learn, and let someone teach you how to be teachable. Let others wake you from the slumber of social media. Get off the computer, get off the games, and question the things that you see, the things you hear, have a discussion with someone who has seen more of life... I promise you, when you open your heart and your mind to learn from the previous generation you will reap so many benefits from it, that you won't believe that you ever "lived" on snapchat. Mind you, I'm talking to myself here too. I need to become more teachable and I have much to learn, but please... please join me to discover everything that this world (physical and metaphysical) has to offer... and let us learn from the people who have gone before us. I beg you, and... hey, the church is a great place to start, because if the church is doing it's job then they will be the most forgiving of the mistakes that you have made... Don't grow bitter, grow stronger, grow your mind, and grow into the man or women that God has destined you to become.
With Love,
Duckie
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