There are many moments in our lives that we just have to sit down and wonder... "How did I get here, and who am I?" this could be something that only I have had to deal with, but I have a strange feeling that I'm not alone here. I'm only 24 years old, and I sometimes feel like I'm having a midlife crisis already.
The thing is, I have read enough to know how to solve the problems of identity and purpose, but I still struggle with it and it is endlessly frustrating. However, as I struggle away, I want to maybe encourage anyone else out there who is struggling with the same thing. I have compiled a list of 10 things that help me and continue to push me towards becoming the person that I believe I am.
1. I was given gifts for a reason
We have all been given a particular set of natural gifts. For some of us we are more geared towards administrative work, some of us are good activators, some of us are good with very particular details, some of us are good at inspiring others, some of us are good listeners, and some of us are good at big vision, and future planning. We all have our specific gifts and it is important that we all find out what they are so that we can utilize them to the best of our abilities. Every single one of us has the gifts we have so that we can bless someone else. I firmly believe that and it is important that we allow this to aid us when we feel lost in a sea of confusion.
2. I can be confident in my strength, and strengthen my weaknesses
We have strengths and we have weaknesses. Often times we let our weaknesses speak louder than our strengths because we're so scared of our weaknesses showing instead of relying our strengths to carry us through. This does not mean that we should not work on the areas in our lives that are weak, but rather... know where your strengths are so that you can be the most beneficial and fulfilled person you can be. I know, that I have certain strengths, but I let my fear of my weaknesses dictate how I act in certain circumstances and sometimes I even allow my fears to dictate how I view myself. I can tell you from personal experience that this is crippling to one's self improvement. If you want to improve remove fear from your vocabulary and from your mindset. This isn't easy, but it is possible to accomplish.
3. My emotions do not control my identity
In a day and age when much of society believes that our feelings dictate who we are and what we are we need to understand that this is just not true--it is a lie. Our feelings, though powerful, do not alter the true state of reality. If I feel one day that I am worthless and have no value because of something someone said, that is simply not true because our families and friends value us. Even if they do not value us, we are born with value in us. We were created for a purpose, and that purpose is special and individual to each of us.
4. My circumstances do not define me
Another common misconception is that our present circumstances define who we are and our worth. Again that is simply not true and we need to get rid of this falsehood. Our circumstances shows us the consequences for who we were,\ and the choices that we made in the past. That doesn't mean we are the same today. Many times our past can be a huge encouragement when we see how far we have come. Never allow your circumstance or situation define you or define your worth. If you are committed to growth, you will grow, and if you are committed to discipline, you will become more so, and your value will continue to rise.
5. My future is (somewhat) in my control, and I directly influence my progress.
Yes, yes inevitably my future is in God's hands and I have no say about whether I take another breath or not. However, the little things in life are up to me. I can control the aspects of my life that are under my control. I can choose to spend my time growing my mind or wasting it. I can choose to hit the gym or I can choose a bag of cookies. I have the choice and I have the control to define the level of success I achieve in the future. I am in control of my future.
6. The choices I have made in my life have led me to where I am now.
Understand that the choices we have made in the past are our decisions are we are responsible for where we are. No one else is responsible for our mindset, mentality, and drive. I look back at my first 24 years and I see many choices that I made that I really regret making and really wish I could change, but I can't go back in time and change them. I can simply vow to never make that decision again and never put myself in that position again.
7. My true friends will love me through my struggles, and flaws
You are the sum of your closest friends. If your friends are trustworthy, honest, and people of integrity so are you; but if your friends are liars, cheaters, and lazy... so are you. You will be hard put to find a situation where this does not hold true.
However, you must understand that there will be people around you who truly love you and desire the best for you. They will see you not for who you are but for the person you want to become, and they will see the potential in you and push you to achieve the greatness that has been placed in you.
8. I am allowed to make mistakes but have no excuse to repeat them.
We all make mistakes and none of us are perfect, but we cannot allow that to excuse making the same mistakes repeatedly. We must continue to improve our decision making and learn from our mistakes. If we continue to make mistakes that we have previously made we do not deserve to experience success because we haven't become any wiser. Success will always follow our personal growth.
9. The things that I feed myself will be what I become.
We are what we eat. If we fill our mind with junk, we will become junk. If we fill our minds with wisdom we will become wise. Whatever movies you watch, whatever music you listen to, whatever conversations you have, that is what you will become. If you desire to grow, you will invest in better music, movies, and conversations. Many times you will eliminate entertainment because your success does not have time for you to turn off your mind.
10. My identity is in the unchanging character of Christ.
Lastly, my identity is found in Christ and his unchanging character. This is where our hope rests. It rests in Christ, his consistent person, and attributes. We have a compass to guide our lives because his character is unchanging and constant. We have the power to succeed even in the tough times, when we aren't sure about who we are, because we know that Christ will remain consistent.
We all have times of uncertainty and insecurity, and we have struggle at times. Don't let your struggles get the best of you. Continue to push forward and strive for the best in all things. You can achieve whatever level of success you want in life as long as you show consistency and growth.
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