How to Break The Friend Zone (The Story of Lydia and Dave)

I am writing this to the guys that feel like they'll never win the girl of their dreams, and I'm writing this to the guy who honestly loves the girl next door and is ignored and put into the "Friendzone".  This is not for the guy who only thinks about himself and only wants a girlfriend. This is for the guy who falls in love with a girl who he feels he has no chance with. I'm sharing this story because I don't want you to give up on your dreams.

When I was a freshman in college I went to college early because I wanted to tryout for the soccer team. I did not make the team and I am okay with that now. Anyway, before classes started some of the people who were there early went bowling together, and that was the first time I met Lydia. She was pretty, cute, and adorable. I wanted to talk to her, and I was hoping that we would be put in the same lane... We weren't but that's okay. On the way home we were in the same car and we got started talking about music and I said I wasn't a huge fan of Casting Crowns and apparently that wasn't the right thing to say (Strike 1).

When classes started my first class was Introduction to Psychology. I walked in a little nervous because this all seemed new. But I found a open seat and sat down without making a fool of myself. I looked to the left, and there was a girl who would share all the same classes with me on M/W/F for the rest of that semester. I turned to the right and there sat Lydia! We talked briefly and I was happy.

As the weeks went by I began to like Lydia, I wouldn't say love because that's a little bit of an exaggeration. However, the feelings weren't mutual at the time, and she began to show interest in a different guy. I didn't say anything, I just simply kept talking to her and being friends with her. By the end of Freshman year it was clear that she wasn't interested in me since she was semi-dating another guy.

Lydia and I in Europe

I felt kind of sad about it but not really because hey, there are many fish in the sea and maybe she's not the right one for me...  Well, she kept it up with this guy until late in summer break. When they broke up the first person he called was me, and told me that they had broken up. I was surprised, and I don't want to seem mean, but I was like.... maybe I have a chance now!





Two weeks after they broke up, I asked Lydia, "When we get back to school do you wanna go on a date?"  :3   I had high hopes... and they were quickly dashed on the rocks.
"No, I don't think I'll ever date you." Was Lydia's response.

Well then... I again tried to convince myself that there would be more fish in the sea, and I tried to find someone else. After showing interest in a few different girls and gave up. I couldn't seem to get Lydia out of my head, and I was only doing things I regretted and hurting people by not focusing on friendships.

During this time, I was still friends with Lydia, in fact I was the guy that she would talk to about her guy problems. She would tell me who she was interested in and who was frustrating her. Somehow I was never on her list.

Half way through the fall semester, Lydia got sick. She needed to go to Urgent Care and no one else seemed to be around so I told her I would drive her there. She reluctantly agreed, and off we went.  While we were sitting in the waiting room, I really wanted to lean over and hug her, but I thought she would punch me in the face. Many months down the road she would admit that she wanted the same thing that day. This event led to my first opportunity to hang out with her one on one. This led to many other opportunities to hang out as such.

On a particular Friday evening in November we were hanging out with a staff member and his family and two of us brought our guitars and were playing together for everyone else who was either listening or off in a different room. We were playing romantic songs and fun songs, but Lydia noticed that I wasn't looking at her during the romantic songs.
That night after we went home she cried all night because she thought she had lost her chance to be with the guy who she actually did like... but I didn't know this yet.

In the next day we went square dancing with a group of friends and I wasn't particularly interested in

From the Night of Dancing

dancing with Lydia that night because another girl was going that was a nice person and a good friend. Anyway, we danced, and the first time Lydia was passed to me, I could tell that she was blushing, but I had no idea why. I asked her, "Why are you blushing?" and she said,  "I'm not!" (and proceeded to not make eye contact with me.)

That night things changed. I was going to dance the last dance with another friend but Joanna Pisani poked me in the right direction when she told me to dance it with Lydia. I asked her why and she simply said, just do it. so I did it. That night we stopped at McDonalds on the way home, and danced in the parking lot. Things were beginning to look hopeful.

A couple weeks later we sat down and had a talk. I don't think anyone in the history of relationships has had a talk like this. We went to Starbucks and our talk started out... I know you like me, and you know I like you, so what are we going to do about this?

That was the beginning. Sometime I will tell the story of me asking her out, and the story of our engagement and our wedding day, but for now just know... That if you truly love a girl, and are patient, and courteous to her. You never know, there is a possibility that it will work out!

Wedding Day, in Mesa AZ

Until Next Time,

Best Friends Forever | 20 Years of Friendship

Many people have a best friend, many people have friends that last for five years, few people have friends that last for ten years, and even fewer people have a bestfriend that lasts for twenty years. My wife Lydia has been friends with her best friend Alyssa for over twenty years, and they are both still in their early twenties! In my background growing up this seems crazy. I can't imagine having a friend for that long... Don't get me wrong I would love to have a best friend like that but I simply have not known the same people for that long. I think that the ability to have a lifelong friend like that is incredible and I want to recognize this and commend them for not only maintaining that friendship but continuing to grow as friends throughout those years.

Alyssa

Lydia and Alyssa met at church when they were around four years old. They became friends and began spending time together as you would expect of four year olds-- playdates and family activities. They saw each other at church for a while but then the families went their separate ways. However, Lydia would still participate in events and youth activities with Alyssa's church so they would continue to hang out and continue to develop their relationship.

When Lydia was in 9th grade, she switched schools from public school to a Christian school. Alyssa had been at this school for quite a few years at this point but that didn't matter. They were still friends and still spent much of their time together. At this point in time, I was still living in New Jersey and had no idea whatsoever that Lydia even existed yet! I wouldn't come into the picture until Lydia's freshman year of college.

Throughout their high school years, they created many memories, inside jokes, and stories that to this day cause much laughter from the retelling of them. A

Lydia

friendship like this is a precious thing and I cannot emphasize enough how much of a blessing it is so observe their friendship. In order to maintain such a relationship you have to sacrifice and you have to make an effort to understand each other and grow together as friends.

This past Christmas break Alyssa and I made Lydia watch the Harry Potter movies. Both Alyssa and I are firm and avid Harry Potter fans and Lydia had never seen these movies. We watched through the first four and will finish the rest of them before summer break. But it was an opportunity to hang out and see each other.

From my perspective, it can be difficult to enter a group when the other people in the group have been friends for many years prior to you joining. I felt very out of place in the beginning simply because I was so new. Over the two years of marriage, we have had quite a few opportunities to hangout and get to know each other. I can honestly say, that at this point in time, Alyssa isn't just Lydia's best friend, but she is also a dear friend to me as well.  (and Alyssa, thank you for sharing your best friend. :P )

But I am beginning to ramble, and I don't want to so I'm going to wrap this up with. On New Year's Eve we went out and did a little photoshoot with Lydia and Alyssa. I have included some of the pictures from the shoot in this blog and I hope this story has been encouraging.

Friends | From 4yrs Old to the Future

Until Next time,