I have noticed that over the past few weeks there has been a huge amount of discussion that can only be considered a jumble of noise and confused remarks about why NFL players are kneeling during the National Anthem. While I don't feel that I am a subject expert of racial oppression or hatred of the US. I am an expert in patriotism and caring for our fellow men and women around us.
This whole controversy started sometime last year when Colin Kaepernick decided it would be a good idea to kneel during the National Anthem to show support for the black americans who had been "gunned down" in "cold blood" by cops around the country. His idea was that he was advocating for equality when it comes to how people are treated not only by police officers but also by the general public... or at least that is my understanding of what he thought he was doing.
Two thoughts here: 1. It's already a controversial topic about whether the cops had the right to shoot or not, but to add kneeling during arguably the most important moment of any sporting event into the mix was not the brightest idea. 2. Are black people the only race that is really unfairly shot by police? Or do police unfairly shoot all kinds of people? All these are thoughts that have gone through my head as I've tried to make sense of what is going on in our country.
Now, let me preface this by saying, I am a white male who is currently servicing his country in the military. I am required by duty and contract (if not love) to stand and salute the flag of the United States during the national anthem or any movement of the flag. I think that makes it quite clear where I stand, but I'm not finished talking yet.
I understand that there is definitely injustice that has worked its way into the law enforcement system in the country, though it is a great minority of people who are corrupted compared to what the news would have you believe. The amount of good cops out there vastly trumps the numbers of bad cops. That being said, why and what are the agendas that are really behind the news making such a big deal out of these issues of racial injustice? I haven't a clue, but I must ask, what more important issues are they covering up that we don't get any news about?
If you want me to give you a solution on how to fixed the problem of racial injustice, it doesn't start with the cops. It starts with the civilians and the general populace treating each other respectfully and with love, rather than suspicion and hatred. We as a country cannot begin to move forward until we can reconcile that we come from different backgrounds and we are still all equal when we start before God.
Why do we have to make race an issue at all? When I see my friends that are of a different race than me, I don't say "oh hey, that's my black friend Joe over here". I say," hey that's my friend Joe, we play soccer together!" you see, there are other ways of describing yourself than by your skin color or sexuality... in fact those things should not come into play at all when you are building a relationship with someone.
In the military all races are represented and all races are treated as equal. There is not a difference based on race. I have brothers to my right and to my left that are black, Asian, Mexican, and white and I would willingly lay down my life for all of them if I was called to do so. That's what it means to be an soldier, and that's what it means to be an American-- to celebrate our differences and learn from each other, while cultivating rich relationships with each other.
As for the flag, I have watched too many soldiers return home under a flag to ever be able to kneel while the National Anthem is played. It doesn't matter what you think you are protesting... if you kneel during the National Anthem you spit upon the graves of known and unknown soldiers who have perished to give us the amount of freedoms we have today. By kneeling you distract from the soldiers of the past who gave everything and insult the soldiers who are currently protecting you.
The flag does not represent the injustices in the country, it represents the ideology that this country was founded upon. Loyalty, Duty, Responsibility, Selflessness, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage. It represents what we as a country strive to be, not what we currently are.
So in short, don't mock the flag because you think it's at fault or the ideals of this country... because they're not. It's us, the people who must make a change for love and courage rather than hatred and fear. Also, if you want to make a difference then actually find a way to make a difference instead of just changing your facebook pictures or kneeling. Go out there and get your hands dirty trying to bring a better tomorrow into existence.
Showing posts with label Couples. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Couples. Show all posts
Saturday, September 30, 2017
Monday, January 2, 2017
How to Break The Friend Zone (The Story of Lydia and Dave)
I am writing this to the guys that feel like they'll never win the girl of their dreams, and I'm writing this to the guy who honestly loves the girl next door and is ignored and put into the "Friendzone". This is not for the guy who only thinks about himself and only wants a girlfriend. This is for the guy who falls in love with a girl who he feels he has no chance with. I'm sharing this story because I don't want you to give up on your dreams.
When I was a freshman in college I went to college early because I wanted to tryout for the soccer team. I did not make the team and I am okay with that now. Anyway, before classes started some of the people who were there early went bowling together, and that was the first time I met Lydia. She was pretty, cute, and adorable. I wanted to talk to her, and I was hoping that we would be put in the same lane... We weren't but that's okay. On the way home we were in the same car and we got started talking about music and I said I wasn't a huge fan of Casting Crowns and apparently that wasn't the right thing to say (Strike 1).
When classes started my first class was Introduction to Psychology. I walked in a little nervous because this all seemed new. But I found a open seat and sat down without making a fool of myself. I looked to the left, and there was a girl who would share all the same classes with me on M/W/F for the rest of that semester. I turned to the right and there sat Lydia! We talked briefly and I was happy.
As the weeks went by I began to like Lydia, I wouldn't say love because that's a little bit of an exaggeration. However, the feelings weren't mutual at the time, and she began to show interest in a different guy. I didn't say anything, I just simply kept talking to her and being friends with her. By the end of Freshman year it was clear that she wasn't interested in me since she was semi-dating another guy.
I felt kind of sad about it but not really because hey, there are many fish in the sea and maybe she's not the right one for me... Well, she kept it up with this guy until late in summer break. When they broke up the first person he called was me, and told me that they had broken up. I was surprised, and I don't want to seem mean, but I was like.... maybe I have a chance now!
Two weeks after they broke up, I asked Lydia, "When we get back to school do you wanna go on a date?" :3 I had high hopes... and they were quickly dashed on the rocks.
"No, I don't think I'll ever date you." Was Lydia's response.
Well then... I again tried to convince myself that there would be more fish in the sea, and I tried to find someone else. After showing interest in a few different girls and gave up. I couldn't seem to get Lydia out of my head, and I was only doing things I regretted and hurting people by not focusing on friendships.
During this time, I was still friends with Lydia, in fact I was the guy that she would talk to about her guy problems. She would tell me who she was interested in and who was frustrating her. Somehow I was never on her list.
Half way through the fall semester, Lydia got sick. She needed to go to Urgent Care and no one else seemed to be around so I told her I would drive her there. She reluctantly agreed, and off we went. While we were sitting in the waiting room, I really wanted to lean over and hug her, but I thought she would punch me in the face. Many months down the road she would admit that she wanted the same thing that day. This event led to my first opportunity to hang out with her one on one. This led to many other opportunities to hang out as such.
On a particular Friday evening in November we were hanging out with a staff member and his family and two of us brought our guitars and were playing together for everyone else who was either listening or off in a different room. We were playing romantic songs and fun songs, but Lydia noticed that I wasn't looking at her during the romantic songs.
That night after we went home she cried all night because she thought she had lost her chance to be with the guy who she actually did like... but I didn't know this yet.
In the next day we went square dancing with a group of friends and I wasn't particularly interested in
dancing with Lydia that night because another girl was going that was a nice person and a good friend. Anyway, we danced, and the first time Lydia was passed to me, I could tell that she was blushing, but I had no idea why. I asked her, "Why are you blushing?" and she said, "I'm not!" (and proceeded to not make eye contact with me.)
That night things changed. I was going to dance the last dance with another friend but Joanna Pisani poked me in the right direction when she told me to dance it with Lydia. I asked her why and she simply said, just do it. so I did it. That night we stopped at McDonalds on the way home, and danced in the parking lot. Things were beginning to look hopeful.
A couple weeks later we sat down and had a talk. I don't think anyone in the history of relationships has had a talk like this. We went to Starbucks and our talk started out... I know you like me, and you know I like you, so what are we going to do about this?
That was the beginning. Sometime I will tell the story of me asking her out, and the story of our engagement and our wedding day, but for now just know... That if you truly love a girl, and are patient, and courteous to her. You never know, there is a possibility that it will work out!
Until Next Time,
When I was a freshman in college I went to college early because I wanted to tryout for the soccer team. I did not make the team and I am okay with that now. Anyway, before classes started some of the people who were there early went bowling together, and that was the first time I met Lydia. She was pretty, cute, and adorable. I wanted to talk to her, and I was hoping that we would be put in the same lane... We weren't but that's okay. On the way home we were in the same car and we got started talking about music and I said I wasn't a huge fan of Casting Crowns and apparently that wasn't the right thing to say (Strike 1).
When classes started my first class was Introduction to Psychology. I walked in a little nervous because this all seemed new. But I found a open seat and sat down without making a fool of myself. I looked to the left, and there was a girl who would share all the same classes with me on M/W/F for the rest of that semester. I turned to the right and there sat Lydia! We talked briefly and I was happy.
As the weeks went by I began to like Lydia, I wouldn't say love because that's a little bit of an exaggeration. However, the feelings weren't mutual at the time, and she began to show interest in a different guy. I didn't say anything, I just simply kept talking to her and being friends with her. By the end of Freshman year it was clear that she wasn't interested in me since she was semi-dating another guy.
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| Lydia and I in Europe |
Two weeks after they broke up, I asked Lydia, "When we get back to school do you wanna go on a date?" :3 I had high hopes... and they were quickly dashed on the rocks.
"No, I don't think I'll ever date you." Was Lydia's response.
Well then... I again tried to convince myself that there would be more fish in the sea, and I tried to find someone else. After showing interest in a few different girls and gave up. I couldn't seem to get Lydia out of my head, and I was only doing things I regretted and hurting people by not focusing on friendships.
During this time, I was still friends with Lydia, in fact I was the guy that she would talk to about her guy problems. She would tell me who she was interested in and who was frustrating her. Somehow I was never on her list.
Half way through the fall semester, Lydia got sick. She needed to go to Urgent Care and no one else seemed to be around so I told her I would drive her there. She reluctantly agreed, and off we went. While we were sitting in the waiting room, I really wanted to lean over and hug her, but I thought she would punch me in the face. Many months down the road she would admit that she wanted the same thing that day. This event led to my first opportunity to hang out with her one on one. This led to many other opportunities to hang out as such.
On a particular Friday evening in November we were hanging out with a staff member and his family and two of us brought our guitars and were playing together for everyone else who was either listening or off in a different room. We were playing romantic songs and fun songs, but Lydia noticed that I wasn't looking at her during the romantic songs.
That night after we went home she cried all night because she thought she had lost her chance to be with the guy who she actually did like... but I didn't know this yet.
In the next day we went square dancing with a group of friends and I wasn't particularly interested in
 |
| From the Night of Dancing |
That night things changed. I was going to dance the last dance with another friend but Joanna Pisani poked me in the right direction when she told me to dance it with Lydia. I asked her why and she simply said, just do it. so I did it. That night we stopped at McDonalds on the way home, and danced in the parking lot. Things were beginning to look hopeful.
A couple weeks later we sat down and had a talk. I don't think anyone in the history of relationships has had a talk like this. We went to Starbucks and our talk started out... I know you like me, and you know I like you, so what are we going to do about this?
That was the beginning. Sometime I will tell the story of me asking her out, and the story of our engagement and our wedding day, but for now just know... That if you truly love a girl, and are patient, and courteous to her. You never know, there is a possibility that it will work out!
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| Wedding Day, in Mesa AZ |
Until Next Time,
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
The Definitions of Worldview vs Mindset (Part 2)
In the last blog post, I talked about what Worldview is. I also explained why it is very important to have a consistent worldview across all areas of life. If your worldview cannot accommodate everything, then you can either rethink your entire existence, or you can assimilate new things into your current worldview, and modify those things that are necessary to change.
The second portion of this series is going to be focusing on Mindset. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines Mindset as; A particular way of thinking; a person's attitude or set of opinions on something. Now going from this definition of what a mindset is, we can probably envision what that might look like. A lot people probably associate mindset with motivational pictures, and posts, and pump you up memes. While this is a good physical representation of a positive mindset, there is a whole lot more that goes into creating a mindset than just looking at positive things.
There are really two types of mindsets that you can accept/achieve. The first is a negative mindset, and the second is a positive mindset... Crazy right? Now, for me a positive mindset is a creative mindset, and always asks how can I? Everyone's mindset with be slightly different than anyone else's mindset, but you can still tell if it is a positive or negative mindset. A positive mindset will continue to grow, and develop, whereas a negative one will remain small, and the same. A positive mindset will strive to learn, and understanding continually more about the world around you, while a negative one will be closed to anything new, and stay ignorant of reality. some people think if abstract ideas, and jumbled thoughts that are smooth and easily understood by themselves, while others have very organized thoughts, and can simply and quickly solve problems, both are fine, and neither one or the other are wrong. My point in say that is everyone's mindset is going to vary, and just because your mindset doesn't match someone else's doesn't mean yours is inferior, or that theirs is.
The second portion of this series is going to be focusing on Mindset. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines Mindset as; A particular way of thinking; a person's attitude or set of opinions on something. Now going from this definition of what a mindset is, we can probably envision what that might look like. A lot people probably associate mindset with motivational pictures, and posts, and pump you up memes. While this is a good physical representation of a positive mindset, there is a whole lot more that goes into creating a mindset than just looking at positive things.
There are really two types of mindsets that you can accept/achieve. The first is a negative mindset, and the second is a positive mindset... Crazy right? Now, for me a positive mindset is a creative mindset, and always asks how can I? Everyone's mindset with be slightly different than anyone else's mindset, but you can still tell if it is a positive or negative mindset. A positive mindset will continue to grow, and develop, whereas a negative one will remain small, and the same. A positive mindset will strive to learn, and understanding continually more about the world around you, while a negative one will be closed to anything new, and stay ignorant of reality. some people think if abstract ideas, and jumbled thoughts that are smooth and easily understood by themselves, while others have very organized thoughts, and can simply and quickly solve problems, both are fine, and neither one or the other are wrong. My point in say that is everyone's mindset is going to vary, and just because your mindset doesn't match someone else's doesn't mean yours is inferior, or that theirs is.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
3 Big Ways to Help Your Fiance Plan a Wedding
One of my friends recently came to me asking if I had any advice to give on wedding planning. After thinking about it for a few days I've come to the decision to write a blog about it. Some people will probably just sniff at this blog, but I'm sure that brides and brides to be will appreciated it if their man spends a little time to read this.
1. Support her decisions and encourage her.
This is her biggest dream in life. She has dreamed of becoming a bride for at least 21 years of her life. This day is for her,
and to celebrate your union for her.
The wedding night is for you.
When she's picking out the cake or the color of ties you'll wear, just go along with it. You'll be satisfied in the end result, so just let her enjoy herself.
There will be times when she gets depressed by all the things she has to get done, just relax and smile. Be someone she can de-stress and relax with. Whenever she gets stressed encourage her and tell her how good she's doing. I promise it'll help you.
2. Be there to consult with, but don't give your opinion unless asked.
My wife kind of glared at me when I wrote this one, but it's very true. Like I said previously, don't give your opinion unless it's asked of you. If she asks your opinion, you are a lucky guy! She just let you into her dream of a wedding so don't take it lightly.
3. Be supportive of her family.
Let me share a short story. There were somethings that happened with my wedding and the events around it that caused both of our families a bit of stress. In one of my unthinking moments I made a comment about how frustrating I found my mother in-law. again, unthinkingly I made this comment to my groomsmen who then took it to a new level of loudly screeching whenever she was mentioned. Needless to say, I regret what I said, but also greatly misjudged her in a moment of frustration. On another note, guys, your mother in-law will most likely to a huge amount of work to put this wedding together. Don't take it lightly, thank her for her trouble, and effort.
Your bride, being a girl, will be way more attached to her family than you, as a guy are. Don't take this lightly either. Respect that she'll miss them when she starts a new life with you. Respect her struggles; She'll still wonder if she's ready to be married to you. xD
In the end, just stay calm and respect her and her family. That is really the best thing that you can do. If she gives you something to be in charge of take care of it early and have it ready and organized. She will appreciate your effort to make everything easy. When you're planning a wedding, don't forget to stay in love. A lot of time you can lose track of spending meaningful time together. Make sure that you take breaks from planning and just do something fun. Keep it light, and if you hit problems, smile and work through them together.
PS. I'm going to start trying to have a new blog out every Wednesday and Saturday. If you want me to write, or address a certain topic, leave a comment of message me somewhere. :)
1. Support her decisions and encourage her.
 |
| Our Wedding Turned Out Pretty Well :) |
and to celebrate your union for her.
The wedding night is for you.
When she's picking out the cake or the color of ties you'll wear, just go along with it. You'll be satisfied in the end result, so just let her enjoy herself.
There will be times when she gets depressed by all the things she has to get done, just relax and smile. Be someone she can de-stress and relax with. Whenever she gets stressed encourage her and tell her how good she's doing. I promise it'll help you.
2. Be there to consult with, but don't give your opinion unless asked.
My wife kind of glared at me when I wrote this one, but it's very true. Like I said previously, don't give your opinion unless it's asked of you. If she asks your opinion, you are a lucky guy! She just let you into her dream of a wedding so don't take it lightly.
3. Be supportive of her family.
Let me share a short story. There were somethings that happened with my wedding and the events around it that caused both of our families a bit of stress. In one of my unthinking moments I made a comment about how frustrating I found my mother in-law. again, unthinkingly I made this comment to my groomsmen who then took it to a new level of loudly screeching whenever she was mentioned. Needless to say, I regret what I said, but also greatly misjudged her in a moment of frustration. On another note, guys, your mother in-law will most likely to a huge amount of work to put this wedding together. Don't take it lightly, thank her for her trouble, and effort.
Your bride, being a girl, will be way more attached to her family than you, as a guy are. Don't take this lightly either. Respect that she'll miss them when she starts a new life with you. Respect her struggles; She'll still wonder if she's ready to be married to you. xD
In the end, just stay calm and respect her and her family. That is really the best thing that you can do. If she gives you something to be in charge of take care of it early and have it ready and organized. She will appreciate your effort to make everything easy. When you're planning a wedding, don't forget to stay in love. A lot of time you can lose track of spending meaningful time together. Make sure that you take breaks from planning and just do something fun. Keep it light, and if you hit problems, smile and work through them together.
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| I'm a gamer so I couldn't resist. |
PS. I'm going to start trying to have a new blog out every Wednesday and Saturday. If you want me to write, or address a certain topic, leave a comment of message me somewhere. :)
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
7 Things All Single Guys Need to Learn Before They Get Married
Before you jump to any hasty conclusions, I know that not every guy out there wants to get married, and not every guy out there is ignorant of these qualities. However, I do know, after being married for only a few weeks, there are definitely some characteristics or attributes that I wish I had worked harder on before getting married to Lydia. These are characteristics, that will not only help you in relationships, but will help you in every area of your life. They may be restatements of what you already know, but they are important and I personally feel they are essential to keeping my marriage with Lydia a success.
7. Listening
This is one thing that we guys are not extremely good at. We may think that we are good listeners, but most likely we're thinking about something else. Something like... "what for dinner? I'm starving." I can't stress this enough. You have to be able to listen to your wife, because she needs that. She needs your attention, and to know that you really hear every word she says. It makes her feel appreciated. Some girls are also poor listeners so it goes for girls as well; listen to your husband when he speaks.
6. Commitment
Now, when I say commitment I'm not really not about the obvious. You should know better than to cheat on your wife. The saddest way to destroy a marriage is by cheating on your wife, or her cheating on you with another man physically. However, commitment does not just stop at adultery. As Jesus said, if a man looks at a women lustfully he has committed adultery already in his heart (Matt 5:28). As a husband you and I must have eyes for only our wives. We cannot let our eyes stray to who ever happens down the street. It has been said by many daughters that seeing their father check out other women hurt them as well. You never know how many people you can hurt by not staying faithful and committed to your spouse.
5. Selflessness (aka. Sacrifice)
This is a big one. This is also something that I struggle with daily. Every single day, there will be something that happens during the course of the day where Lydia will ask me to do something that I don't want to do, simply because I'm busy looking at youtube. pathetic, and selfish of me, and I don't want to be like that, but it is still a struggle. Ephesians chapter 5 is the guide to how husbands should treat their wives. Paul says, that we are too love our wives, "as Christ loves the church, and gave himself for her" so he could present her as a spotless and unblemished bride before his Father and ours. This means, we give of ourselves to help her become the women in Christ that God has planned for her to be. In this process, we as well, will become the men of God that He has created us to be. One thing that helps me, when I feel selfish and want to do my thing, and not be sacrificial towards her. I remind myself to pray for her and my sanctification. If her spiritual condition is concern for you, then it will become much easier for you to sacrifice and be selfless towards her.
4. Compassion
This is probably one of the only things I feel I have a some what decent handle of. I know that compassion is one of my spiritual gifts, and I'm thankful to God for giving it to me, because it really helps in our relationship, if I can be compassionate towards her. She is human and so am I, we make mistakes and we do stupid stuff, but compassion makes these mistakes easier to deal with, and forgiveness comes easier.
3. Communication
I cannot stress how important communication is in a relationship. Especially since most guys are terrible at communicating how they feel and what they really think about something. Girls and guys communicate differently, but that doesn't mean it's not important. If you can't communicate your relationship will most likely fall apart. Girls thrive on communication, by communication I don't mean gossip, I mean genuinely communicating your feelings and dreams to her.
I cannot stress how important communication is in a relationship. Especially since most guys are terrible at communicating how they feel and what they really think about something. Girls and guys communicate differently, but that doesn't mean it's not important. If you can't communicate your relationship will most likely fall apart. Girls thrive on communication, by communication I don't mean gossip, I mean genuinely communicating your feelings and dreams to her.
2. Discipline
I am not an organized person at all. Is that a bad thing? I think it's not a good thing. I need to learn to be more disciplined in how I spend my time, and how I spend our money. I've learned that in the past three weeks of marriage, and I can only assume it'll become more important over the course of our marriage. I'm currently in my last semester of school and that is something else I need to be disciplined in. Discipline isn't a easy thing to learn, but it is something that is necessary. to be a leader one needs to be in order and have a disciplined lifestyle.
I am not an organized person at all. Is that a bad thing? I think it's not a good thing. I need to learn to be more disciplined in how I spend my time, and how I spend our money. I've learned that in the past three weeks of marriage, and I can only assume it'll become more important over the course of our marriage. I'm currently in my last semester of school and that is something else I need to be disciplined in. Discipline isn't a easy thing to learn, but it is something that is necessary. to be a leader one needs to be in order and have a disciplined lifestyle.
1. Leadership
As a husband you must learn to lead. However, by lead I do not mean, as a dictator. Your wife needs godly leadership that takes leadership seriously, but does so with a smile. Given, before you are married you can't really have the same leadership responsibilities that you have once you are married, but you can still look for ways to be a leader, and a godly one at that.
Given, there are guys who have these qualities mastered before they get married, but I personally didn't have them anywhere near what they should be, and that's why I'm writing this. I hope that this encourages and inspires those of you who are getting married, or are looking to be married at some point.
As a husband you must learn to lead. However, by lead I do not mean, as a dictator. Your wife needs godly leadership that takes leadership seriously, but does so with a smile. Given, before you are married you can't really have the same leadership responsibilities that you have once you are married, but you can still look for ways to be a leader, and a godly one at that.
Given, there are guys who have these qualities mastered before they get married, but I personally didn't have them anywhere near what they should be, and that's why I'm writing this. I hope that this encourages and inspires those of you who are getting married, or are looking to be married at some point.
Sunday, January 18, 2015
7 Things Every Christian Guy Should Know Before He Has Sex
Now I know what you're thinking, "How could you use the words 'christian'and 'sex' in the same title?" Well, because sex is important to Christianity. I believe that in the church today there is a lack of sex education going on, and I believe that the church really needs to step up and address the real life issues that happen within marriage for Newly-weds in the church.
I've been married for about three weeks now, and obviously, my wife and I have had sex. It's part of marriage as God designed and, not gonna lie, it is enjoyable. However, going into marriage I had a lot of misconceptions about what sex would be like, and also how I would deepen my relationship with my wife, through sex, and how it would effect other areas of our relationship. This blog, hopefully will help young men who are going into marriage, prepare for marriage and understand what exactly you are getting into.
7. You will not become one overnight.
When I was growing up and through my college experience I kept hearing the phrase "you will become one with your wife" and I always thought that was referring to sex, and how you would suddenly understand everything about her, and you would know her deepest secrets. Well, let me tell you, we didn't become one, and we're still different people and I still don't understand everything about my wife, but I do know her better now. in retrospect I see, how misplaced these ideas are, and how foolish it is to think that you will get to that point immediately overnight.
6. You don't have sex constantly.
You don't and really, that's a good thing. You can't physically have sex all the time, and I'm pretty sure you realize that. Plus, she cannot have sex all the time either. No one could physically take that. Yet, before marriage you think, well, "we're gonna be having sex every 5 minutes on the honeymoon and it's gonna be great!" Nope.
5. You don't want it constantly.
On top of the fact that you don't have sex all the time, you also don't want to have sex all the time. If you simply married someone because you thought it was the only way you'd get to sleep with them, than you should never have started the dating process. When you are married, if you've had a good relationship prior to marriage. You will have other things that you enjoy doing together, and you will continue to do them. I personally, don't want to have sex all the time, and my wife is fine with that. I would rather talk to her, and actively do something with her, rather than lay in bed all day having sex. If you truly love your wife, you probably won't be having sex all day.
4. It's not about her pleasing you.
I know that a lot of guys love their fiances and want to make them happy. However, in our culture, we have this idea that when it comes to sex, its about the girl pleasing the guy, and in marriage the wife should submit to the husband and simply let him have his way with her all the time. This also includes making her do things for you, that aren't really appropriate. You will find, if you really love your wife, like Ephesians tells you too. Sex, as well as other areas of your life will become more about you pleasing her, and making her happy. This is not just doing the dishes for her, and trying to express yourself more. This also includes in the bedroom. As her husband, it is important that you put her needs above your own. Sex isn't about you, it's about glorifying God with your body by giving it to your spouse.
3. It's not like the movies make it seem.
Like I mentioned, our culture gives us plenty of images, videos, and movies to tell us what sex is supposed to look like or be like. I can tell you right now. If you want sex to be like a movie, then you're gonna be disappointed. It's nothing like a movie, for example, it's fun. It's smiles, and giggles. Not some steamy sex scene... and seriously, thank God it's not. Because it's so much more enjoyable when you're not trying to impress her, or show off. If you act like yourself, (the person she married you for) you will have a great time, and sex will be fun.
2. Sex helps improve other areas of your marriage.
Believe it or not, sex does help with other areas of your marriage. For example, in my situation, it has helped me become more vocal and share what I'm thinking with my wife. It helps me understand her more, and give us a way to just be completely transparent with each other. To be frank, when you've seen someone standing in front of you completely naked, you have seen everything about them. Their beauty, their blemishes, and their whole body. You see who they really are, and if you can share that with them physically, it really helps in sharing that emotionally, and mentally.
1. Experiencing Sex is not the pinnacle of your existence.
I hate to disappoint you, but the pinnacle of marriage is not having sex. I know a lot of guys who really want to have sex, because sex is the pinnacle of their imagination. That's really sad. The pinnacle of your existence as a husband is when a young person, or someone looks at you and says, "I want to be like you when I get married, because I saw Christ in how you treat your wife."
Guys, even in sex, you're goal is not to finish last. It's still has Paul said, to finish the race, and get the prize, the crown of eternal life. Sex is an intimate act between and husband and a wife to take part in for the glory of God
Husbands, on a final note, love your wives as Christ loves the church and gave himself for her. (Ephesians 5) protect her, care for her, and cherish her. If you must, die for her. But before you sign out and die for her. Make sure you live every moment of your life and your existence to glorify God by the way that you love her.
7. You will not become one overnight.
When I was growing up and through my college experience I kept hearing the phrase "you will become one with your wife" and I always thought that was referring to sex, and how you would suddenly understand everything about her, and you would know her deepest secrets. Well, let me tell you, we didn't become one, and we're still different people and I still don't understand everything about my wife, but I do know her better now. in retrospect I see, how misplaced these ideas are, and how foolish it is to think that you will get to that point immediately overnight.
6. You don't have sex constantly.
You don't and really, that's a good thing. You can't physically have sex all the time, and I'm pretty sure you realize that. Plus, she cannot have sex all the time either. No one could physically take that. Yet, before marriage you think, well, "we're gonna be having sex every 5 minutes on the honeymoon and it's gonna be great!" Nope.
5. You don't want it constantly.
On top of the fact that you don't have sex all the time, you also don't want to have sex all the time. If you simply married someone because you thought it was the only way you'd get to sleep with them, than you should never have started the dating process. When you are married, if you've had a good relationship prior to marriage. You will have other things that you enjoy doing together, and you will continue to do them. I personally, don't want to have sex all the time, and my wife is fine with that. I would rather talk to her, and actively do something with her, rather than lay in bed all day having sex. If you truly love your wife, you probably won't be having sex all day.
4. It's not about her pleasing you.
I know that a lot of guys love their fiances and want to make them happy. However, in our culture, we have this idea that when it comes to sex, its about the girl pleasing the guy, and in marriage the wife should submit to the husband and simply let him have his way with her all the time. This also includes making her do things for you, that aren't really appropriate. You will find, if you really love your wife, like Ephesians tells you too. Sex, as well as other areas of your life will become more about you pleasing her, and making her happy. This is not just doing the dishes for her, and trying to express yourself more. This also includes in the bedroom. As her husband, it is important that you put her needs above your own. Sex isn't about you, it's about glorifying God with your body by giving it to your spouse.
3. It's not like the movies make it seem.
Like I mentioned, our culture gives us plenty of images, videos, and movies to tell us what sex is supposed to look like or be like. I can tell you right now. If you want sex to be like a movie, then you're gonna be disappointed. It's nothing like a movie, for example, it's fun. It's smiles, and giggles. Not some steamy sex scene... and seriously, thank God it's not. Because it's so much more enjoyable when you're not trying to impress her, or show off. If you act like yourself, (the person she married you for) you will have a great time, and sex will be fun.
2. Sex helps improve other areas of your marriage.
Believe it or not, sex does help with other areas of your marriage. For example, in my situation, it has helped me become more vocal and share what I'm thinking with my wife. It helps me understand her more, and give us a way to just be completely transparent with each other. To be frank, when you've seen someone standing in front of you completely naked, you have seen everything about them. Their beauty, their blemishes, and their whole body. You see who they really are, and if you can share that with them physically, it really helps in sharing that emotionally, and mentally.
1. Experiencing Sex is not the pinnacle of your existence.
I hate to disappoint you, but the pinnacle of marriage is not having sex. I know a lot of guys who really want to have sex, because sex is the pinnacle of their imagination. That's really sad. The pinnacle of your existence as a husband is when a young person, or someone looks at you and says, "I want to be like you when I get married, because I saw Christ in how you treat your wife."
Guys, even in sex, you're goal is not to finish last. It's still has Paul said, to finish the race, and get the prize, the crown of eternal life. Sex is an intimate act between and husband and a wife to take part in for the glory of God
Husbands, on a final note, love your wives as Christ loves the church and gave himself for her. (Ephesians 5) protect her, care for her, and cherish her. If you must, die for her. But before you sign out and die for her. Make sure you live every moment of your life and your existence to glorify God by the way that you love her.
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