7 Things Every Christian Guy Should Know Before He Has Sex

Now I know what you're thinking, "How could you use the words 'christian'and 'sex' in the same title?" Well, because sex is important to Christianity. I believe that in the church today there is a lack of sex education going on, and I believe that the church really needs to step up and address the real life issues that happen within marriage for Newly-weds in the church. 

I've been married for about three weeks now, and obviously, my wife and I have had sex. It's part of marriage as God designed and, not gonna lie, it is enjoyable. However, going into marriage I had a lot of misconceptions about what sex would be like, and also how I would deepen my relationship with my wife, through sex, and how it would effect other areas of our relationship. This blog, hopefully will help young men who are going into marriage, prepare for marriage and understand what exactly you are getting into.

7. You will not become one overnight.  
When I was growing up and through my college experience I kept hearing the phrase "you will become one with your wife" and I always thought that was referring to sex, and how you would suddenly understand everything about her, and you would know her deepest secrets. Well, let me tell you, we didn't become one, and we're still different people and I still don't understand everything about my wife, but I do know her better now. in retrospect I see, how misplaced these ideas are, and how foolish it is to think that you will get to that point immediately overnight. 
6. You don't have sex constantly.
You don't and really, that's a good thing. You can't physically have sex all the time, and I'm pretty sure you realize that. Plus, she cannot have sex all the time either. No one could physically take that. Yet, before marriage you think, well, "we're gonna be having sex every 5 minutes on the honeymoon and it's gonna be great!" Nope. 
5. You don't want it constantly.
On top of the fact that you don't have sex all the time, you also don't want to have sex all the time. If you simply married someone because you thought it was the only way you'd get to sleep with them, than you should never have started the dating process. When you are married, if you've had a good relationship prior to marriage. You will have other things that you enjoy doing together, and you will continue to do them. I personally, don't want to have sex all the time, and my wife is fine with that. I would rather talk to her, and actively do something with her, rather than lay in bed all day having sex. If you truly love your wife, you probably won't be having sex all day. 
4. It's not about her pleasing you. 
I know that a lot of guys love their fiances and want to make them happy. However, in our culture, we have this idea that when it comes to sex, its about the girl pleasing the guy, and in marriage the wife should submit to the husband and simply let him have his way with her all the time. This also includes making her do things for you, that aren't really appropriate. You will find, if you really love your wife, like Ephesians tells you too. Sex, as well as other areas of your life will become more about you pleasing her, and making her happy. This is not just doing the dishes for her, and trying to express yourself more. This also includes in the bedroom. As her husband, it is important that you put her needs above your own. Sex isn't about you, it's about glorifying God with your body by giving it to your spouse.  
3. It's not like the movies make it seem.
Like I mentioned, our culture gives us plenty of images, videos, and movies to tell us what sex is supposed to look like or be like. I can tell you right now. If you want sex to be like a movie, then you're gonna be disappointed. It's nothing like a movie, for example, it's fun. It's smiles, and giggles. Not some steamy sex scene... and seriously, thank God it's not. Because it's so much more enjoyable when you're not trying to impress her, or show off. If you act like yourself, (the person she married you for) you will have a great time, and sex will be fun. 
2. Sex helps improve other areas of your marriage.
Believe it or not, sex does help with other areas of your marriage. For example, in my situation, it has helped me become more vocal and share what I'm thinking with my wife. It helps me understand her more, and give us a way to just be completely transparent with each other. To be frank, when you've seen someone standing in front of you completely naked, you have seen everything about them. Their beauty, their blemishes, and their whole body. You see who they really are, and if you can share that with them physically, it really helps in sharing that emotionally, and mentally.  
1. Experiencing Sex is not the pinnacle of your existence.
I hate to disappoint you, but the pinnacle of marriage is not having sex. I know a lot of guys who really want to have sex, because sex is the pinnacle of their imagination. That's really sad. The pinnacle of your existence as a husband is when a young person, or someone looks at you and says, "I want to be like you when I get married, because I saw Christ in how you treat your wife." 

Guys, even in sex, you're goal is not to finish last. It's still has Paul said, to finish the race, and get the prize, the crown of eternal life. Sex is an intimate act between and husband and a wife to take part in for the glory of God

Husbands, on a final note, love your wives as Christ loves the church and gave himself for her. (Ephesians 5) protect her, care for her, and cherish her. If you must, die for her. But before you sign out and die for her. Make sure you live every moment of your life and your existence to glorify God by the way that you love her.