First of all, I have nothing against the Independent Fundamental Churches, I have nothing against Southern Baptist Churches, and I have nothing against Non-Denominational churches. As long as you preach the true Gospel, and disciple those in the congregation with truth and love, I am willing to support and encourage you. However, I do believe there are some areas that these churches could definitely work on. I do not claim to be an authority on the church or how to lead a church. I am only a seminary student who has observed a few things. I am willing to be rebuked and take my words back if I have offended or compromised the Gospel. Here is a list of seven things I believe conservative Churches need to be encouraged in.
1. Encourage Congregations to Actively Pursue Community
From personal experience I have found it very hard to have active relationships within a church. Given, I do not expect families to bend over backwards to hangout with other families, but it would be nice to see. There are many churches who primarily focus on community and do a whole number of activities and they build strong friendships, and have wonderful times together. However, I have found in these settings certain theological depth can be lost, and growth is stunted when the social is overemphasized. However, this does not excuse more doctrinally sound churches from their lack of apparent community. I believe from the Acts 4:23 church we see a very strong emphasis on community and doctrine. There is definitely a balance, but encourage congregations to be more active in pursuing these wonderful blessings known as friendships with fellow believers.
2. Encourage Congregations to Strive For Excellence in All Things
I know that this can be a very touchy subject in many circles, and yes, I admit it is a touchy subject to me as well. If you YouTube "Terrible Singing" you are bound to come across an offertory gone horribly wrong. Why? Because we sometimes let people stand up and sing or do something that they have been actually been gifted in. Example, I would prefer to never stand up and sing an offertory because I know there are people who can sing much better than I, at the current church I attend. I do not wish to compromise the music by not achieving excellence. Those who have been gifted with teaching let them teach, (As long as they have sound doctrine, and have been decently trained in the faith!) Those who are artists let them paint, and display their works of God's beauty in a specific place or avenue. Those who can listen and empathize, let them do so, and encourage those who need someone to talk to. As Paul would say, each part of the body has a place, but there is no reason for a hand to try to be an ear.
3. Encourage Congregations to Memorize Scripture
I cannot stress enough the importance of memorizing Scripture and being completely saturated with knowledge of the Bible. The beginning of knowledge is the fear of the Lord, and it God is your basis, knowing more of the Bible will only increase your growth. Many conservative churches do very well with memorizing Scripture so I heartily applaud you for that!
4. Encourage Critical Thinking And Healthy Questioning
This can be a scary one, because sometimes we might not know the answers. That doesn't mean you don't question things anyway. Everyone has been a teenager (or will be one!) Teens question things! It is super important that we do not smother their search for answers and truth, but rather encourage them in their pursuit of what is truth. Even as adults we have questions, and we desire answers. What is the true meaning of God's will? How does Christ's deity and humanity work together? What is the role of spiritual gifts? All these are good questions, and need to be asked, thought through, and resolved. Encourage congregations to be intellectually strong.
5. Encourage Disciplined Lifestyle
There is so much apathy in 1st world countries (specifically talking about America). Disciplined people are far and few between. I have to admit, I am not as disciplined as I want to be, but I will continue working at it, until I reach perfection. This discipline does not end at one compartment of life, but rather transcends all areas of life. If you call yourself disciplined and are only disciplined in one area, you are a hypocrite. Strive to be disciplined in every area, and not only will you grow as a person, but your life will inspire others to do the same as well.
6. Encourage Empathy, Compassion, and Service to Others
Many Americans whether in the church or outside the church are self-absorbed. Many forget compassion, empathy and service, simply because it is not convenient to practice such attributes. Let me remind you: Christ Jesus did not have to save you from anything. It was not convenient for Him to give up his crown and glory to suffer and die for you. He is our example, step up, and serve those around you. Even if... heaven forbid... you miss the first ten minutes of that football game.
7. Encourage Discussions on Controversial Topics
Lets face it, in today's world there are many controversial things going on. Whether it is an Orange politician raging at someone for something, or someone sexually identifying as a toaster. There are many controversial topics out there, and for the most part the church has been silent. Whether it is out of fear, or out of embarrassment that we must talk about sexuality, and other topics in the public square... Let's face it, if you don't talk to your children about it, someone else will, and the results could very well be devastating. Don't shy away from the "scary" topics, discuss them, and teach others to think through them with a christian worldview and positivity for God's design.
Again, I do not claim to know more than the next person, and I do not wish to offend anyone.. However, I feel that these areas need work, and to those out there who are striving already for these I applaud your efforts and I pray to God that He gives you the strength to push through and achieve greatness for the Kingdom of God.
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
Monday, April 18, 2016
What is Success?
Well, I guess I already asked the question... What. IS. SUCCESS?
Many would define success as winning, whether it is in sports or in a contest of some sort. While they are not wrong, there is a much deeper and richer definition to success. I asked a few people to give me a short definition of success.
"To achieve fulfillment in faith and self, and through that to inspire and challenge others."
"Success is being able to wake up each and everyday here in the USA. Living in the greatest country on earth, and knowing you with God's will control your destiny."
"Success is being able to glorify God while reaching a set goal."
"Find out what is important to you, setting goals to reach those things, and surrounding yourself with resources and people to get you there. Be determined, work hard, and arrive where you want to be."
One thing that you will notice with these definitions is that they vary... As does success in our lives. For some of us, success is getting out of bed to face another day even though we suffer from severe depression, for some, it is reaching a new personal record in fitness or in sports. however, for all of us, success is closely tied to self-improvement.
We hardly call it success when we've eaten 50 chicken nuggets by ourselves, sitting on the couch binge watching netflix, or falling into a mud puddle... We simply don't view such things as a success. Why? because they do not improve our current state of being. now, if you enjoy falling in mud puddles, then be my guest and contradict me, but for the vast majority that is not a success. here are three things to help you think through what success is.
1. Success is Personal
Success is not necessarily something that can be measured by anyone but yourself. Only you know, if you gave everything you had. If you are on a diet, only you know if you stuck to it. Only you know, if your heart was in it.
Don't try to set a standard for your success by someone else's standard. Given, in business there are cooperate, and financial standards for success, but when you are working on yourself, use the Bible as your standard, and push yourself to be the best version of you that you can be. This includes, spiritual, mental, and physical discipline.
2. Success is Contagious
Success can be contagious. If you are successful you will attract two types of people, those who are already successful and those who are hungry to be successful. You will find as you grow in your journey of personal development and success building that Success is not something that can be taught, it must be caught. YOU CANNOT TEACH SOMEONE TO BE SUCCESSFUL. why? well... look at number one. It is a personal decision to become someone who strives for success.
On a side note, if you are someone who is working hard to be successful, do not be so self-centered as not exclude others from that success. Help others become successful as well.
3. Success is Hard
There is nothing easy about success. You will be mocked for trying to excel. In our country, and culture being sub par is often the status quo. Anything different from the status quo will be difficult. that doesn't mean you should strive for it, it simply means, you must push that much harder to become successful. We have no place in this world for those who are happy to be nothing. Enough people have chosen that path already. Step up, and take your place among the legends of humanity. Those who bowed to none but God, and as a result changed the world. Jesus was successful, and it cost him EVERYTHING. ..
Oh, by the way... Christ is our example for how we are supposed to live.
Think about it.
Colossians 3:23-24
Many would define success as winning, whether it is in sports or in a contest of some sort. While they are not wrong, there is a much deeper and richer definition to success. I asked a few people to give me a short definition of success.
"To achieve fulfillment in faith and self, and through that to inspire and challenge others."
"Success is being able to wake up each and everyday here in the USA. Living in the greatest country on earth, and knowing you with God's will control your destiny."
"Success is being able to glorify God while reaching a set goal."
"Find out what is important to you, setting goals to reach those things, and surrounding yourself with resources and people to get you there. Be determined, work hard, and arrive where you want to be."
One thing that you will notice with these definitions is that they vary... As does success in our lives. For some of us, success is getting out of bed to face another day even though we suffer from severe depression, for some, it is reaching a new personal record in fitness or in sports. however, for all of us, success is closely tied to self-improvement.
We hardly call it success when we've eaten 50 chicken nuggets by ourselves, sitting on the couch binge watching netflix, or falling into a mud puddle... We simply don't view such things as a success. Why? because they do not improve our current state of being. now, if you enjoy falling in mud puddles, then be my guest and contradict me, but for the vast majority that is not a success. here are three things to help you think through what success is.
1. Success is Personal
Success is not necessarily something that can be measured by anyone but yourself. Only you know, if you gave everything you had. If you are on a diet, only you know if you stuck to it. Only you know, if your heart was in it.
Don't try to set a standard for your success by someone else's standard. Given, in business there are cooperate, and financial standards for success, but when you are working on yourself, use the Bible as your standard, and push yourself to be the best version of you that you can be. This includes, spiritual, mental, and physical discipline.
2. Success is Contagious
Success can be contagious. If you are successful you will attract two types of people, those who are already successful and those who are hungry to be successful. You will find as you grow in your journey of personal development and success building that Success is not something that can be taught, it must be caught. YOU CANNOT TEACH SOMEONE TO BE SUCCESSFUL. why? well... look at number one. It is a personal decision to become someone who strives for success.
On a side note, if you are someone who is working hard to be successful, do not be so self-centered as not exclude others from that success. Help others become successful as well.
3. Success is Hard
There is nothing easy about success. You will be mocked for trying to excel. In our country, and culture being sub par is often the status quo. Anything different from the status quo will be difficult. that doesn't mean you should strive for it, it simply means, you must push that much harder to become successful. We have no place in this world for those who are happy to be nothing. Enough people have chosen that path already. Step up, and take your place among the legends of humanity. Those who bowed to none but God, and as a result changed the world. Jesus was successful, and it cost him EVERYTHING. ..
Oh, by the way... Christ is our example for how we are supposed to live.
Think about it.
Colossians 3:23-24
Thursday, April 14, 2016
7 Habits to Cultivate into Your Life Before College
CONGRATS! YOU MADE IT! You finished high school and in the fall you start college! Some people are super excited to be getting out of the house for the first time, while others fear being away from their parents. Feeling either way is just fine. It's a part of growing up.
Your college experience hinges heavily on you. The things that you choose to get involved in, the classes you take, the major you select, the people you choose to surround yourself with. All of these things hinge on you. Will you enjoy it? depends on you.
but...
no pressure. :P
Having recently graduated college and started Grad studies, I look back at my college experience and I honestly wish people had warned me of certain things. Of course my parents told me to manage my time wisely, but to a senior in high school what in the world does that even mean? I was told to be responsible and do the right things, but while I knew what that looked like in theory... what does that mean in real life?
Ugh.... so many questions.... what do I do?!?!
Well... Here's a list of seven habits you should start incorporating into your lives before you go to college.
1. Time Management
HA! got you. just kidding. Well, lets start with a question. What is time management and what does it look like? when you go to school you will have classes you must keep track of, and meetings to schedule with advisors, study sessions with friends. All of these things will need to be scheduled. I would advise that you start living on a schedule before you leave. Regardless of your class schedule you should create habits that you can keep throughout your college career. For example, 7:00am Wake up 7:30 breakfast, 8:00 reading (class) etc etc. start living in a structured way so that you will succeed and start building a healthy habit of being organized. It might not be fun to be living on a schedule but it is infinitely more frustrating missing assignments and meetings because you can't keep track of things in a professional manner.
2. Reading for enjoyment
Yup. You read that right. Learn to enjoy reading, because you will have to read stuff in college that is not only dull, but duller than that. No one ever read a math textbook for enjoyment... (some might have, but they are a special breed of person!) If you start getting in the habit of reading intellectually challenging books, you will find reading your textbooks much easier, and more tolerable if you start reading over the summer. Reading is a blessing for the rest of your life, and you should never stop learning.
3. Exercise
This one is important because it is very easy to become a potato wandering around campus. If you don't plan ahead (time management) you will struggle to find time for exercise, but if you are exercising you will think clearer, and have a much more enjoyable time. My freshman year of college I gained 50 pounds, and that wasn't enjoyable at all.
4. Meaningful friendships
It has been said that you are the sum of your five closest friends. That is most definitely true. Surround yourself with people who want to grow, and want to change the world. befriend those who challenge conventional thinking, and desire to think critically about issues that the world is facing. Befriend the dreamers, and leaders. Don't waste your years of college with those who are happy with being average. You have a greater purpose in you, than average.
5. Listening
This is one, that I did not take advantage of in my first few years of college. When you are on campus you have access (if it is a small school) to extremely knowledgable professors and teachers. Shut up. Listen to what they have to say, and treasure the moments you have sitting in their offices listening to their wisdom. you don't know half of what you think you know. Be teachable, and let others invest in you.
6. Sleeping
call me boring, but it is true. You need sleep. it is super critical that you don't spend your nights up until three in the morning randomly doing nothing. Literally nothing good happens after midnight on a college campus. be smart, and discipline yourself to sleep as you would if you had to go to work to next day at 7am. being a student is your job for the next few years, so treat it as such. Sleep is extremely important for your overall well being and mental functioning.
7. Living For Christ
Of all the things on this list this is by far the most important aspect of life after high school. Whether you go to a secular college or christian college, you will be surrounded by people who do not want to put Christ first in their lives. You will be in the minority. Do not cave to peer pressure, pursue Christ in all things. In the habits you form, place Christ at the forefront of your thoughts. Be disciplined with your time, So that Christ is always put first. That does not mean skip class to pray in your closet, but it does mean, getting up early enough to spend time with Christ and his Word, before you go to class. Do all things to the glory of God. He created you, and He desires the best for you! So give Him your best and do your best in appreciation for all He has done for you!
Thursday, December 10, 2015
A Sad Christmas Tree
There are many things about the Christmas season that are exceptionally wonderful. Happy people, decorating, singing christmas carols, and generally celebrating Christmas. However, tonight I find myself unable to sleep, because there is something haunting me in my mind.
There standing alone in my parents house, I see in my mind's eye, a sad Christmas tree. It stands tall just like it has for many years. It is decorated with all the same decorations that it has always been decorated with, but for some reason it is sad.
This will be the Christmas that I will celebrate with my beautiful wife, and I am very excited for that, but I can't help but feel an emptiness in my heart. I will miss my parents and brother, and the family traditions that aren't even traditions but just Christmas habits. So many Christmas memories pass through my head that it is really hard for me to find joy in this Christmas season.
They were so good! All the christmases that we had growing up, and as you get older the pile of presents gets smaller, but being with your family gets bigger. As you get older you realize that the toys and goodies aren't the real presents. The real present is getting to spend time with family and loved ones.
I do not mean to sound ungrateful for what I have this year, or disappointed that we won't be spending Christmas with my family, because I'm not. I'm very grateful for everything that God has done for us in 2015 and I'm extremely thankful that Lydia's family lives close to us, and we're able to celebrate Christmas with her family. I just wish.... that my parents and brother could experience Christmas with us.
I have never been one to be sensitive and feely but I really regret so many Christmases before. I can't recall them half as well as I would like to and I can't ever go back and experience them again.
However, every new year will bring with it, new memories and new happiness. That's really what's important.
I can't live in the past and I can't change the things that have happened. I hope that I am not being too depressing, and dramatic, and I hope that many this will reach someone where they are at, feeling a little blue this christmas. Maybe you have your own sad Christmas tree from a past Christmas, maybe yours is in a sadder state than mine. I miss Christmas like it used to be, and I miss most, the people who I've spent every Christmas with up until now.
Now since that if off of my chest, lets go out and make new Christmas memories! lets celebrate the family that we have, and the joy that Christmas brings with it!
:D
Duckie
There standing alone in my parents house, I see in my mind's eye, a sad Christmas tree. It stands tall just like it has for many years. It is decorated with all the same decorations that it has always been decorated with, but for some reason it is sad.
This will be the Christmas that I will celebrate with my beautiful wife, and I am very excited for that, but I can't help but feel an emptiness in my heart. I will miss my parents and brother, and the family traditions that aren't even traditions but just Christmas habits. So many Christmas memories pass through my head that it is really hard for me to find joy in this Christmas season.
They were so good! All the christmases that we had growing up, and as you get older the pile of presents gets smaller, but being with your family gets bigger. As you get older you realize that the toys and goodies aren't the real presents. The real present is getting to spend time with family and loved ones.
I do not mean to sound ungrateful for what I have this year, or disappointed that we won't be spending Christmas with my family, because I'm not. I'm very grateful for everything that God has done for us in 2015 and I'm extremely thankful that Lydia's family lives close to us, and we're able to celebrate Christmas with her family. I just wish.... that my parents and brother could experience Christmas with us.
I have never been one to be sensitive and feely but I really regret so many Christmases before. I can't recall them half as well as I would like to and I can't ever go back and experience them again.
However, every new year will bring with it, new memories and new happiness. That's really what's important.
I can't live in the past and I can't change the things that have happened. I hope that I am not being too depressing, and dramatic, and I hope that many this will reach someone where they are at, feeling a little blue this christmas. Maybe you have your own sad Christmas tree from a past Christmas, maybe yours is in a sadder state than mine. I miss Christmas like it used to be, and I miss most, the people who I've spent every Christmas with up until now.
Now since that if off of my chest, lets go out and make new Christmas memories! lets celebrate the family that we have, and the joy that Christmas brings with it!
:D
Duckie
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Satan Doesn't need to tempt the American Church: We've destroyed ourselves without it
"Brothers and sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly—mere infants in Christ. 2I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. 3You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans? 4For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not mere human beings?"
( 1 Corinthians 3:1-4)
I cringe when I read this. I cringed because I know how close to home this hits with many within the church. This could easily be addressed to any number of churches here in America. As the church of Ephesus received from John's letter in Revelation; we have abandoned our first love. We no longer seek after Christ, and his Gospel alone, we desire more. Is it wrong to want to know more of God? Not at all, but when it clouds your view of reality, it hurts. If you desire to know more of God than was written in the Bible, there's a problem. If you have to read books that take the Bible out of context to make a point, you need to stop yourself, and return to your first love. Now, do not think for a second that I am saying you should not spend every waking second aware of God, and what he desires for your life... That is not my point at all.
However, I have been to a few churches here and there, and I see problems coming when they forget the Gospel and become "Super-Spiritualized". This is the Gospel, Man has fallen from favor with God because of our decision to sin. God desires us to return to Him so He made a way for us to come to him. He sent Jesus to earth as a God-Man (100% man and 100% God). Jesus lived a perfect life was crucified, buried and rose again on the third day. He then ascended into glory and sat down at the right hand of God. His death opened the door for us to be made one with God, if we believe in Jesus and the sacrifice that he made. If we surrender our lives to him, and acknowledge him as Lord and Savior, we will be saved and once we die, we will be reunited with God, and live in eternity with him forever. This is the Gospel. Nothing more, and nothing less. Or at least that's what the early church believed.
Today, we cannot believe a simple Gospel because many many years later, naturally we would know more about the Gospel than what Jesus said. Today you must choose who you will serve. Will if be Zwingli? or Luther? or will it be Calvin or Arminius? Surely, if you do not agree with me, you cannot be saved.
I know, that these men, were all Greats of the Faith, and I mean them no disrespect. However, I have left church angry because there was an argument, not about the Gospel, but about whether Calvin was right or Arminius was right. This has to stop. Calvin was not predestined to replace Christ's simple Gospel, and Arminius did not have the free-will to choose to replace the Gospel.
I know that it is good to study and learn more and more about Christ, but it's about building a relationship, not writing a textbook to add on to the Gospel. The Gospel is what saves you, not to doctrine of predestination.
If I met a man, who told me he was going to heaven because Jesus loves him and forgave him of his sins, and his life reflected that statement, I would believe that he would be in paradise one day. If a man told me that everyone who believes in Arminian Theology is going to hell one day, but that he was safe because he was a calvinist... I would wonder if I would see him in Eternity.
We have become to bitter against each other for no other reason, but secondary doctrines to the one Doctrine above all doctrines. The Doctrine of the Gospel. Jesus came to make a way for us to be reunited with God, and He desires us to come to him, we cannot earn our salvation, we can't even begin to pay for it, but we can accept it because of his love and grace towards us. Jesus saves us from our sins, when we recognize him as our loving savior and when we make a change to do our best to honor and glorify him in our lives. That is all. There is no magic doctrinal stance that lets you into a higher heaven or a better heaven. It is the simple Gospel that saves.
I mean this in love,
David "Duckie" Vest
( 1 Corinthians 3:1-4)
I cringe when I read this. I cringed because I know how close to home this hits with many within the church. This could easily be addressed to any number of churches here in America. As the church of Ephesus received from John's letter in Revelation; we have abandoned our first love. We no longer seek after Christ, and his Gospel alone, we desire more. Is it wrong to want to know more of God? Not at all, but when it clouds your view of reality, it hurts. If you desire to know more of God than was written in the Bible, there's a problem. If you have to read books that take the Bible out of context to make a point, you need to stop yourself, and return to your first love. Now, do not think for a second that I am saying you should not spend every waking second aware of God, and what he desires for your life... That is not my point at all.
However, I have been to a few churches here and there, and I see problems coming when they forget the Gospel and become "Super-Spiritualized". This is the Gospel, Man has fallen from favor with God because of our decision to sin. God desires us to return to Him so He made a way for us to come to him. He sent Jesus to earth as a God-Man (100% man and 100% God). Jesus lived a perfect life was crucified, buried and rose again on the third day. He then ascended into glory and sat down at the right hand of God. His death opened the door for us to be made one with God, if we believe in Jesus and the sacrifice that he made. If we surrender our lives to him, and acknowledge him as Lord and Savior, we will be saved and once we die, we will be reunited with God, and live in eternity with him forever. This is the Gospel. Nothing more, and nothing less. Or at least that's what the early church believed.
Today, we cannot believe a simple Gospel because many many years later, naturally we would know more about the Gospel than what Jesus said. Today you must choose who you will serve. Will if be Zwingli? or Luther? or will it be Calvin or Arminius? Surely, if you do not agree with me, you cannot be saved.
I know, that these men, were all Greats of the Faith, and I mean them no disrespect. However, I have left church angry because there was an argument, not about the Gospel, but about whether Calvin was right or Arminius was right. This has to stop. Calvin was not predestined to replace Christ's simple Gospel, and Arminius did not have the free-will to choose to replace the Gospel.
I know that it is good to study and learn more and more about Christ, but it's about building a relationship, not writing a textbook to add on to the Gospel. The Gospel is what saves you, not to doctrine of predestination.
If I met a man, who told me he was going to heaven because Jesus loves him and forgave him of his sins, and his life reflected that statement, I would believe that he would be in paradise one day. If a man told me that everyone who believes in Arminian Theology is going to hell one day, but that he was safe because he was a calvinist... I would wonder if I would see him in Eternity.
We have become to bitter against each other for no other reason, but secondary doctrines to the one Doctrine above all doctrines. The Doctrine of the Gospel. Jesus came to make a way for us to be reunited with God, and He desires us to come to him, we cannot earn our salvation, we can't even begin to pay for it, but we can accept it because of his love and grace towards us. Jesus saves us from our sins, when we recognize him as our loving savior and when we make a change to do our best to honor and glorify him in our lives. That is all. There is no magic doctrinal stance that lets you into a higher heaven or a better heaven. It is the simple Gospel that saves.
I mean this in love,
David "Duckie" Vest
Monday, June 15, 2015
The Death of Courtship, or Christ in Dating?
Introduction
A While ago one of my friends on Facebook posted something about wanted to have a courtship instead of a dating relationship. There was a blog that was written as to why, and don't get me wrong, there were good reasons for what was said, but I think they were a little bit misguided. I wanted to give my opinion of what courtship is and what I believe dating is, and a solution to the problem.
Courtship
Many people especially in conservative circles always want to point out that dating isn't the way to go and that they courtship rather go the route of the courtship. They say, it is more centered on Christ and there are a lot more boundaries and rules set up to help the couple succeed. However, none of that really has to do with a courtship. Traditionally what a courtship is, is a young man, goes to his parents are informs them, " I am financially independent and I'm ready to find a wife... Here's a girl that I would be interested in courting." His parents, (along with him) go to the girls parents are discuss the possibility of a courtship. Then the young man and young women get to know each other in the family setting, never on their own, always under the supervision of parents. If the courtship is a success then the couple will get married. If it does not succeed them the couple goes their own separate ways.
I will be blunt and to the point. I believe that courtships are dead, or at least a dying breed. Not because people don't want to do courtship, but because there is rarely the amount of time for parents to supervise their grown children in a relationship setting like this. I also, don't think that it is really the best way to go about a relationship prior to marriage. I know that it takes time to be yourself in front of someone else's parents... It's not easy to be everything that you would be behind closed doors with just that special someone. If they only get to see you, in these more public settings, yes there will not be a lot of opportunity to fall into physical temptation, but you won't get to see the real person that you really need to see in order to make a decision for marriage. That is what I think, and you can take it or leave it. (noticed that boundaries are not even mentioned as part of a courtship.)
Dating
At this point in time, everyone knows what dating is, and how it works. There is constructive dating and then there's the dating game... or destructive dating if you will. Dating is very casual in nature, a boy asks out a girl and they go on dates. They go watch movies, or mini golfing, or any number of things.
Obviously there are any number of things that more conservative christians can point out as major problems with this, and for the most part I would agree with them. There is not a lot of dating couples that look for accountability for their physical boundaries, and there is not necessarily a lot of focus on spiritual development or growth. That does not mean that there are exceptions to this rules, it just means it's much easier to fall into sin.
At this point I want to offer a solution to those who don't want to do a courtship, but want to have a safe, well accounted-for relationship prior to marriage. I want to suggest what I call Covenantal Dating.
Covenantal Dating is different from courtship, and it is different from todays use of dating. In covenantal dating you write out what you want your boundaries to be (physically, emotionally, and spiritually). You have someone in authority over you, such as a parent, or pastor keep you accountable throughout your relationship for those boundaries. This will keep falling into temptation further away. Also, as a Christian, these boundaries should make it much easier to focus your energies on a Christ centered relationship. Personally, I believe that this is the best option for Christians that are living in the world today. In the world today, few people have time to invest in a traditional courtship, and many people do not really like the idea of "traditional" dating.
Conclusion
Christians need to understand that dating should not be treated as a game, and that it is really to prepare you for marriage, just as a courtship is. However, I believe that it is very important that you spend time with that special person one on one before you get married because you won't see the same side of people when they are in a group. I know that it is very hard to keep your physical boundaries unless you write them out. I know this from experience. If you decide to use the covenantal dating system it is worth the fight to avoid temptation, and it will make your relationship down the road much smoother. Always, no matter what you decide to do, keep Christ at the center of your relationship with your significant other. At no point, should they get between you and God. Christ is first, they are second, you are third. That is how God created, marriages to be.
A While ago one of my friends on Facebook posted something about wanted to have a courtship instead of a dating relationship. There was a blog that was written as to why, and don't get me wrong, there were good reasons for what was said, but I think they were a little bit misguided. I wanted to give my opinion of what courtship is and what I believe dating is, and a solution to the problem.
Courtship
Many people especially in conservative circles always want to point out that dating isn't the way to go and that they courtship rather go the route of the courtship. They say, it is more centered on Christ and there are a lot more boundaries and rules set up to help the couple succeed. However, none of that really has to do with a courtship. Traditionally what a courtship is, is a young man, goes to his parents are informs them, " I am financially independent and I'm ready to find a wife... Here's a girl that I would be interested in courting." His parents, (along with him) go to the girls parents are discuss the possibility of a courtship. Then the young man and young women get to know each other in the family setting, never on their own, always under the supervision of parents. If the courtship is a success then the couple will get married. If it does not succeed them the couple goes their own separate ways.
I will be blunt and to the point. I believe that courtships are dead, or at least a dying breed. Not because people don't want to do courtship, but because there is rarely the amount of time for parents to supervise their grown children in a relationship setting like this. I also, don't think that it is really the best way to go about a relationship prior to marriage. I know that it takes time to be yourself in front of someone else's parents... It's not easy to be everything that you would be behind closed doors with just that special someone. If they only get to see you, in these more public settings, yes there will not be a lot of opportunity to fall into physical temptation, but you won't get to see the real person that you really need to see in order to make a decision for marriage. That is what I think, and you can take it or leave it. (noticed that boundaries are not even mentioned as part of a courtship.)
Dating
At this point in time, everyone knows what dating is, and how it works. There is constructive dating and then there's the dating game... or destructive dating if you will. Dating is very casual in nature, a boy asks out a girl and they go on dates. They go watch movies, or mini golfing, or any number of things.
Obviously there are any number of things that more conservative christians can point out as major problems with this, and for the most part I would agree with them. There is not a lot of dating couples that look for accountability for their physical boundaries, and there is not necessarily a lot of focus on spiritual development or growth. That does not mean that there are exceptions to this rules, it just means it's much easier to fall into sin.
At this point I want to offer a solution to those who don't want to do a courtship, but want to have a safe, well accounted-for relationship prior to marriage. I want to suggest what I call Covenantal Dating.
Covenantal Dating is different from courtship, and it is different from todays use of dating. In covenantal dating you write out what you want your boundaries to be (physically, emotionally, and spiritually). You have someone in authority over you, such as a parent, or pastor keep you accountable throughout your relationship for those boundaries. This will keep falling into temptation further away. Also, as a Christian, these boundaries should make it much easier to focus your energies on a Christ centered relationship. Personally, I believe that this is the best option for Christians that are living in the world today. In the world today, few people have time to invest in a traditional courtship, and many people do not really like the idea of "traditional" dating.
Conclusion
Christians need to understand that dating should not be treated as a game, and that it is really to prepare you for marriage, just as a courtship is. However, I believe that it is very important that you spend time with that special person one on one before you get married because you won't see the same side of people when they are in a group. I know that it is very hard to keep your physical boundaries unless you write them out. I know this from experience. If you decide to use the covenantal dating system it is worth the fight to avoid temptation, and it will make your relationship down the road much smoother. Always, no matter what you decide to do, keep Christ at the center of your relationship with your significant other. At no point, should they get between you and God. Christ is first, they are second, you are third. That is how God created, marriages to be.
Sunday, April 5, 2015
The Downfall of the Church: Self-destruction
I'm sure that I am not alone when I say that I am tired of people picking on Christians and destroying the church through politics, and society's agendas. However, while these things do appear to be major issues, and worrisome to those of us within the church, I believe there is something more devastating within the church, than outside.
There is an age old debate within the church and I'm fairly certain that if you go to any somewhat sound church you could get someone to talk about it. The debate/argument is on whether Calvinism or Arminianism is correct. My first question is... does it matter who's right? Obviously to some extent it does matter, but seriously... does it really matter in the long run? Do Calvinist even know ALL of John Calvin's doctrinal stance? Do Arminians believe in all of Jacob Arminius' beliefs? probably not, but that's not important. I do hold to a specific stance, and I do believe in certain doctrines, but I don't believe that John Calvin or Arminius would have wanted to see what has come to pass today.
I have noticed that many Calvinist take it as their right, to prove that they are right, and Arminians are even remotely close. Some go as far to say that if you don't believe in Calvin then you aren't even saved. Besides, shunning people with differing beliefs each side finds enough time to make fun of those you believe differently within the church. No wonder people don't want to join the church if all they see is people bickering and making fun of each other for their beliefs.
Many people outside of the church don't even know who John Calvin was, or what Arminius taught. Does Predestination, or free will really take priority over the Gospel? Many can argue that these points are essential in presenting the Gospel. But I don't really think so. Did the thief that died on the cross next to Christ have to be taught all the doctrines of predestination before he could be saved? Nope.
The biggest thing hurting the church today, is the people inside it who are too busy arguing amongst themselves about these issues, and not going out into the world proclaiming the good news of Christ.
I know that I have been found guilty of arguing about these doctrines, and for those who are not within the church, I apologize for my stupidity. Christ is more important than Calvin, Jesus' death on the cross is more important than Irresistible Grace. We have failed at our mission to reach the lost if we only stay inside our churches arguing. We have failed Christ if we can't see passed ourselves. If we don't share the Good news of Christ, the only thing that people will see is the bad news, that we've created within our walls.
Just my two cents...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)